Ever wonder

why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
why doctors call what they do "practice"?
why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?
why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

Some funny label instructions:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
On the tag of a reversible jacket: "Wash inside-out" (which way would that be??...)